A Form of Burden

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“Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference.” -Barack Obama

Ever since I was little, money was something that my family earned, but at times there was not enough. That could have been my brother and I’s fault for causing such trouble, but we are just little kids that desired these nerf guns or dolls. In present day, I absolutely regret desiring for useless items like those. I guess I can’t really blame myself because I was at such a young age to fully understand how debt could affect one’s life. That feeling of nostalgia has affected me till this day. In a way, it made me more conscious of my spending. But how careful must I be? Careful enough that I decide not to spend money on food when I am starving? Or when I buy new shoes that I know will last a long time but still not buy it? I express my thoughts to my mom about this issue, and this is how she replies.

“Ashley, don’t think of it like that. Spending money on things like food is OK. It is something that is going to make you full and make you be able to move on with your day.”

Soon I accepted the fact that may be she is right. However, as I thought about it more, my situation became worse. My worriedness about college funds came into play. It was unbelievable how much college tuition costs for only one year. This lead to more choices but yet again, it made me feel worse. There were options like community college or cal states that were here for me. Ultimately, my heart would not feel satisfied unless if I was able to attend a four-year university. All these schools are great, so I’m not sure why I feel so attached to those kind of schools. They teach the same subjects, have most of the same classes, and in the end, you will still get a college degree. Cal states and community college’s prices were reassuring but my heart could not settle for that until it was my actual last choice.

I’m like a walking body on campus full of stress, burden, and hope. I just hope the next time I encounter a situation including money I will not overthink and just do what I think is right. There will be options for me to choose, and my family and friends will be there for me when I need it. I think I’ll be okay.

Photo by http://www.smarteranalyst.com/2015/05/08/growing-a-dividend-forest/

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